Enjoy mushrooms

Facebook is definitely a waste of time. But a loveable and insightful waste of time nonetheless. I was piddling on facebook, finding out new idiosyncracies about people I don't really know general things about when I noticed a tab that said something to the effect of "Election Issues You Support" so I clicked to see what my options were. (For those of you who care I have been officially registered to vote for almost a year now ... I have my license expiration and my dad to thank for that.) I expected some of the regular mundanely normal support groups like DEMOCRATS ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN REPUBLICANS and REPUBLICANS AREN'T ASSES (they are right ... or do I have that backward ... whoever thought of assigning animals anyway ... what is this the chinese zodiac??) but so many more interesting things came up, most not remotely related to any political issue I've ever heard of ... although, judging by the titles of some of these groups, politics would be a lot more interesting if facebook had its way. And just when I thought facebook couldn't possibly have a group for everything I found it. The group so rare and enjoyable I had never even thought to wonder if it existed: "I Will Go Slightly Out of My Way To Step On That Crunchy-looking Leaf"

What a group!! Upon further investigation I realized that there are many more groups very similar in title and mission statement, but at the time I thought ... what a delightfully specific and so very identifiable group.

Everyday as I walk home from work I walk on the very edge of the sidewalk where all the leaves have been swept toward the grass so that I can hear them crunch under my feet as I walk. And then I see it. That giant golden maple leaf shivering in the breeze on the other side of the sidewalk, edges tenderly curled up making a brittle bowl of leaf-crunching perfection. I close in following my edge-of-the-sidewalk leaf track. Then at the last minute I lunge, my foot landing dead center of the crispy maple CRRRRRUUUUNCHHHHH. I left out a sigh of relief, smile and do a half skip before moving back to the edge of the sidewalk.

There's something about crunchy nature. Acorns are equally as satisfying, although significantly more dangerous due to rolling potential. A downhill acorn smashing extravaganza is not the best idea. But oh the satisfaction of feeling the little round shells pop under your foot, shattering into a splat of orange!

And then there are mushrooms. I don't know what it is about mushrooms but I will go 10 feet off track just to smear a good mushroom. I started feeling guilty about it lately because there was this patch of mushrooms growing where shade from a tall bush falls right on my path to class and work every day. Every time I passed I wanted to just jump right off the sidewalk in a frenzy of mushroom squishing. But for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt like God or somebody was watching me thinking ... why are you squashing those perfectly rounded and innocent mushrooms ... what kind of a person does that? ... why can't you just walk on the sidewalk like everyone else ... nobody else goes around dodging off perfectly good sidewalks to destroy mushrooms. So I walked by every single day saying to myself "There is no reason that you have to step on those mushrooms." or "Are you really gonna feel that much better if you jump on them?" taking every tiny bit of willpower in my body to restrain, almost tasting the freedom I would somehow feel after groveling in the joy of a patch of mushrooms all my own. Then I walked by one day and they were gone. All 8 of them. Just gone. Not one smashed and withered shred of mushroom left. And then I realized. The lot had been mowed and the mushrooms got plowed down. A whole set of untouched, unsmashed ... UNENJOYED mushrooms gone in one sweep of the blade, the lawnman probably barely even noticing they were there except to think ... those pesky mushrooms are like warts on the nose of my grass.

Never again will I refrain or feel guilty for taking joy in stepping on a mushroom and twisting my foot till the grass is slathered in mushroom bits because every time I walk by now I think ... i could have stepped on 8 mushrooms ... EIGHT ... big ones too ... and i passed them by.

Maybe it was a good exercise in self-control and moderation but from now on I'm taking advantage of every chance I get to jump right in and enjoy the good stuff -- stomping mushrooms, cracking acorns and crunching leaves. Thats what life's all about. Enjoying the little stuff, the good stuff. Why talk yourself into enjoying the sidewalk when the mushrooms are only a jump away?