Future 6.11 XP

I've been thinking and talking a lot lately with other people and to myself about enjoying life. About all different things like how sometimes a place doesn't really matter as much as the people in it, but also how your own perspective on life can really affect how you view everything and everyone. And then too about how good of lives we have, especially here in America, and how much we take our lifestyles for granted. I had a particularly frustrating start to the weekend, and it restarted me thinking about all these things, just about how really good my life is but how sometimes I let these little tiny things affect me and ruin all the good stuff. It's so funny the little things individual people are particular about, the little things that grate on our nerves and change our moods.

These things for me include (among many things):
1. Locking myself out - car, house, apartment. I hate to be locked out, especially when I can see the keys from the other side.
2. When someone asks me a question and then doesn't listen to the answer or doesn't wait for an answer.
3. When my nails are all the same length and then one breaks right down to the quick.
4. When I get out the door or in my car or down the street and then realize that I have forgotten something I need. Which is unfortunate because as Tiffany can verify this happens to me pretty much every time I walk out the door.
5. When technology doesn't work properly .... or as fast as I think it should.
6. When people act like they care about you, but you have this knowledge in the back of your head that they really don't ... or if they do, it's because of an ulterior motive. It drives me nuts when a person says "I've been thinking so much about you" and automatically a voice in the back of my head goes "Yeah somehow I don't believe that." because there are just those people that you know are lying about it.

Also, off topic, but not really. Aaron, Chrissy and I were sitting around pretending to study for our aphasia final a few Thursdays ago and we kept veering off topic ... if we ever were even on topic. Anyway, I was having dejavu ... or maybe Aaron or Chrissy was. Or maybe we were just talking about dejavu, I can't remember now. But I started talking about my opinion of dejavu. See, for some reason as long as I can remember, I have thought that dejavu is a sign that I am exactly where I am supposed to be doing what I am supposed to be doing. I know that might sound kind of weird but I have the most vivid dejavu sometimes and I just feel like it is a confirmation from God I guess that I'm not so far off track, that this was planned for me and I am doing alright. Maybe that's just me needing a little reassurance, but hey I'll take it where I can get it. Anyway, it was funny because as I'm telling Aaron and Chrissy this, I look over at Aaron and his mouth is open and he was looking at me funny and it was actually starting to creep me out how he was staring and Chrissy was noticing too. So we're like, "Aaron, stop it you freak. Why are you giving me that weirdo look?"
"I have never heard anyone else say that before."
"Yeah I know Aaron. I told you it was a weird theory."
"No, I think that too. I can't believe you just said that because it is exactly what I think about dejavu."
We had a mini freak out session, took pictures of the freakout session and the creepy Aaron face and then moved on.



Anyway, I still think that about dejavu and it was even cooler to find out that someone else thinks the same thing, especially Aaron because I respect him a lot. I'd be interested to know what whoever is reading this thinks about dejavu. Maybe I'll do some internet research ... real official stuff.

Anyway, I'm rambling. But I like life a lot. I'm going to try not to let little things annoy me so much. It's life. Might as well enjoy it while it's here.

............................................

As I was in the process of writing the above post, my Skype icon popped up. Message from Orlando Yepez. I clicked over, excited to catch up with my long-lost friend. I started telling him about some stuff I am currently freaking out over, really just looking for some reassurance. Funny because I was just writing about needing reassurance. It's crazy how fast you become attached to certain people and come to love and trust them. A clip (that helped me) about life from our conversation. Please note that Orlando is a freaking English genius. I don't know how he does it.

Me: *freak out, freak out, freak out*

Orlando: You see.. all our lifes.. we tend to think that we are sooo smart

Me: haha yeah i like to think that

Orlando: that we have our whole life completly figured out in some areas like.. our friends... our work/career..a lot of choices that we easily can plan out ahead of time... that is our naive version of the future lets say its... future 1.0

Me: haha

Orlando: so.. somthing comes up...

Me: so you're telling me i can't be a control freak with my life, huh?

Orlando: no ... it happens to all of us but not everyone admits it ... then something comes up and we feel it will change future 1.0 so we walk away from that something and future 1.0 is still ok. At some point we voluntarily make the choice of changing and make an upgrade to future 1.2 but now... that is definite.. we are not changin the plans again. Then... somewhere along the way we came up with diffeent versions of our future but we alwasy think its the last version but it never is so... you futire is going to change .. and your goals are going to change also no matter what are your plans right now just let the present unfold..b/c you might just be at the uploading future 6.11 XP !!!